Since the early ’80s, the Melvins have been sludging through the metal underworld with monstrous riffs almost as big as front man Buzz Osborne’s signature afro. Though the band had some major label success in the ’90s (thanks mostly to its association with Nirvana), these guys

have never been known for taking a traditional approach to music. Released for free through Scion A/V, the recent EP The Bulls & the Bees shows the band being just as heavy and weird as always, even while being distributed by the corporate arm of a major car company. As the Melvins hit the road with Unsane tonight for a week-and-a-half United States tour, Osborne talks to Wrestling with Pop Culture about things that may or may not happen on this tour.

The Melvins recently released The Bulls & the Bees EP for free through Scion A/V. Did working with a car company as opposed to a record label affect the creative process at all?

The main difference is they’re not selling it. So it doesn’t go to stores or anything. It’s just free. Generally speaking, you don’t put out records unless you’re planning on selling them, and no one’s going to underwrite what you’re doing unless they’re going to get their money back. Usually record labels are a gamble, so this was certainly different than that. There’s no profit motivation on their end other than raising awareness of their car company. Whether that translates into auto sales remains to be seen.

For the band it could possibly expose you to people who may not have previously listened to you.

Heavy on the expose. We love to expose ourselves. How could you not? All we do is expose ourselves … constantly.

I’ve been listening to you guys since the mid ’90s, so I’ve been exposed to you guys a few times in concert.

Oh, you mean musically.

Yeah. I haven’t seen anything else. Have you been in Playgirl or anything?

Not me. No one needs to see that. Are you kidding? Surely you jest. We’ll just leave it at that. The unknown’s a lot of times better than the known.

You also have another album coming out in June called Freak Puke with a slightly scaled-down version of the Melvins called Melvins Lite. What can you say about that record so far? Will you be playing some of the new stuff on this tour?

Melvins Lite is essentially us playing with Trevor Dunn, who plays a standup bass. Until people hear the stuff, they’re having a little bit of trouble getting their head around that. I don’t know why. They should, at this point, certainly expect us to do something a little weird. We always have. It sounds different sonically, but you can still tell it’s us. I got this idea last year. We did five shows with Trevor playing regular Melvins songs. But with all of our records and all of our songs, or any song in general – there’s really not a song in the world we couldn’t do a cover of, but that doesn’t mean we’d play it exactly the same – we’ve always moved forward with how it has to work in order for us to make it work. So I was never too worried about any of that kind of thing. It’s different, but it’s kind of an extension of what we’re doing already. We’re certainly not going to stop playing with the Big Business guys by no means. I think we’re going to play one song off this record [on this tour]. With us and the Big Business guys, we could play everything off this record. It might be a little different than it sounds with standup bass, but with a standup bass you could play every Melvins song. No problem. Essentially it’s still a bass. The same notes are on it, I guess. “I guess” is always a good answer for everything, don’t you think?

I guess.

Seems reasonable.

This tour kicks off tonight and you’re touring with another great underground band, Unsane. What a great pairing. Are there any plans for the two bands to collaborate or do anything odd on this tour?

We put out a 7-inch on Amphetamine Reptile with us covering an Unsane song and them covering one of our songs. That’s just out and we’re actually selling those on the tour. Cage Match, we called it.

Oh, so you’ll be in a cage. Will you be wearing luchador masks and things like that?

Yeah, totally. We’re going to kick their asses. It will be a severe beating. A series of beatings followed by a series of beatings. How about that?

I look forward to that. Do you need a referee or anything?

God, no. Are you kidding? For what?

Is it an unsanctioned free-for-all?

Well, if it’s a free-for-all it should be unsanctioned. Don’t you think? Unbridled mayhem is what we’re looking for.

Is that the name of the tour?

Why not? That sounds like a good tour. The Unbridled Mayhem tour.

So rather than having one band open for the other band, will you all be out there in cage at the same time?

Oh, yeah. Totally. We’re bringing a bunch of things like that and people pay extra at the door if they actually want us to cut each other up and see blood. If you want blood, you’ve got to pay more.

Are fans encouraged to bring weapons?

Absolutely not. It’s the same as a wrestling match. You’re not encouraged to bring weapons there. They want to see us inflict violence on each other. Let us do the talking. I am not encouraging people to bring weapons of any kind. I’m discouraging it.

Where does the music fit into all this?

Music? That’s the one thing we forgot about. I don’t know what we’re going to do. What is it the Meat Puppets say? “Who needs action when you’ve got words?”

I’m looking forward to the DVD release from this tour.

Oh, we should do that. That would be great. That’s a good idea. Don’t patent that before we get a chance to.

Oh, no. I’m expecting you guys to do it.

You’re a gracious man.

The Melvins and Unsane have influenced a number of bands over the years, ranging from Nirvana to Mastodon. You’ve also toured with some of those bands. What is like to see a band like Mastodon, who are still growing in the metal world, acknowledging the Melvins as an influence?

It doesn’t hurt. We’re always very gracious receivers of any kind of admiration. As well we should be. That’s all we do is sit back and let people admire us. It’s great. I’m glad bands are influenced by our band. It’s nice. Let’s just hope Mastodon doesn’t end up the way Nirvana ended up. That was a worst case scenario.

I think they’ve probably gotten past anything like that in their career.

I’ll take your word for it.

Oddly enough, Gabe Sapolsky from Dragon Gate USA was a guest on the March 28 edition of Ringside Rap and he used the comparison between the Melvins and Justin Bieber as an analogy between his wrestling promotion and more mainstream wrestling shows.

Wow. The difference between us and Bieber is we’ve written thousands of songs and play to three people and he hasn’t even written three songs and plays to thousands of people.

I’d say that’s a pretty accurate comparison.

Honestly, I’ve never heard a moment of his music. I have no idea what it sounds like. I can probably guess, but I honestly have no clue. He seems like a Logan’s Run-style performer, which means they die when they hit 30.

He still has a few years before he hits 30, I think.

As long as you believe what they tell you. Hopefully he’ll have it all worked out by then and won’t do anything stupid with his money. He should call me. I can tell him what to do. I’d be more than happy to tell him what to do.