I’m not gay or nothing, but I really liked the first Magic Mike movie a few years ago. At first I only went to see it because I thought John Cena was the star. Then I realized that was actually Channing Tatum, who was in those G.I. Joe movies with The Rock. He also played a wrassler in that Foxcatcher movie. So, he’s pretty good. But then I saw that Kevin Nash was in it, and it’s just too sweet to see Big Sexy getting some screen time.

Since I thought the first movie was pretty good, I figured I’d Magic Mike XXL, too. I’m actually trying to get down to a size XXL T-shirt. I used to wear 6X, but now I’m down to 5X. Been eatin’ a little better, you know. MMXXL takes place three years after the first movie, which actually came out three years ago. Magic Mike has gotten out of the stripper industry and handles his wood a lot. I realize how that sounds, but what I mean is that he has become a carpenter. He said he wanted to build furniture in the first movie, so I guess he has grabbed that brass ring and is living the dream.

Tarzan (that’s Kevin Nash’s gimmick) calls him one day and says the Kings of Tampa are getting the band back together to compete in a stripper contest in Myrtle Beach. Dallas (Matthew McConaughey, not Page) is no longer the leader of their faction, but it looks like the rest of the stable is back. Even Gabriel Iglesias, who is friends with Dallas Page in real life, is back as a food truck vendor. Even though he’s been doing DDP Yoga, he’s still not in as good a shape as the rest of this clique. I guess that’s why they call him Fluffy.

So they leave Tampa in the food truck for what turns into more of a road trip adventure than a stripper movie. One of the first things they decide to do before they get to Myrtle Beach is to change their gimmicks up a little bit. So they actually end up throwing all their gimmicks from the first movie out the window before Fluffy falls asleep at the wheel and wrecks the food truck. Then they go to Savannah to visit Mike’s old friend Rome (Jada Pinkett Smith), who runs a private male strip club. She basically becomes their manager, helps them come up with new gimmicks and adds a few of her boys to the stable.

Before they get to Myrtle Beach, they meet up with Nancy (Andie MacDowell) and her friends so they can practice their spots, if you know what I mean. When they get to the stripper convention, Elizabeth Banks is running the show and isn’t going to let them in. Then she sees Rome and I guess they have some history because then she lets them in. (I haven’t seen Pitch Perfect 2 yet because I never saw the first one. But did you know Banks directed that movie, and that Lana is in it? It might be pretty good.)

At first it looks like the Kings of Tampa might not go over. There’s some other group doing a Twilight gimmick that the crowd is really popping for. Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello) gets mad and calls it “vampire bullshit,” which is funny because my cousin told me Big Dick played a werewolf on True Blood. I also saw him on Raw one time, and I think he was in a WWE movie with Mr. Kennedy.

The Kings of Tampa end up showing that they are true veterans of this business and the crowd lets them know they’ve still got it. A lot of times it looks like they are doing wrestling moves on women from the audience, but they’re working pretty light so no one actually gets hurt. The dirt sheets say Ric Flair was supposed to be in this movie, but I didn’t see him. But I definitely would have popped to see The Nature Boy stylin’ and profilin’ on the big screen. Still, Magic Mike XXL is a feel-good movie that plays out like a wrasslin’ angle about workers who are a little past their primes getting one last run before they ride off into the sunset. I mean, it makes me feel pretty good.